Before and After the movie
by ImagineMusic
Summary: A collection of random one shots I'm thinking of... Some are funny, some are sad, all are NOT dramatic (Hopefully)... Enjoy and R&R? Rated T for cussing in the upcoming one shots.
1. Elves aren't real

**Just a random one shot I came up with earlier today... I had to make it a bit longer which took some time but here it is. Enjoy it. **

**Summary**

**Hiccup and Ruffnut are in an argument on whether elves are real or not. And Ruffnut annoyed the heck out of Hiccup. **

* * *

Honestly, Ruffnut... There is no such thing as an elf." Hiccup said trying to reason with the immature and probably sick Ruffnut.

"Explain all the rainbows we always spot in the afternoon." She said. Hiccup raised an eyebrow obviously thinking she's either drunken by something or definitely sick.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine... Why?"

"Because it's unusual for you to believe in something as stupid as elves... Especially since you happen to love destruction..."

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"Okay... Rainbows come from water and light. They're probably just illusions..."

"Pots of gold?"

"... That's a leprechaun's job to put down pots of gold... But vikings in the village."

"Midgets in green?"

"So now children are midgets? Mmhmm... Definitely leprechauns."

"I thought we were talking about elves."

"And I thought you were smarter..."

"Wait! I have one more evidence!"

"... Good Thor... What is it?"

"This little guy I captured." Ruffnut took out a cage from behind her and it held a little boy.

"Okay... First of all... That's a kid... Second of all... LET HIM OUT!" Then he snatched the cage and opened the door.

"I wanna go home." The boy sobbed.

"Sorry..."

"Seriously, Ruff... Your obsession of elves has led you to kidnap a boy from the village." Hiccup put the boy down and he ran off. Then there was a tug at his vest. He looked down and saw a short guy with a pointy hat.

"Elves are real. They just don't do leprechaun stuff." Then it left and Hiccup face palmed.

"I forgot to ask you... Why did you list all the things leprechauns do?" He asked.

"I thought they were the same." Was Ruffnut's brilliant reply. Hiccup face palmed again.

"You are hopeless..."

"But elves are real."

"Okay okay. Elves are real."

"I was right!"

"Yes you were... You were right..."

* * *

Astrid laughed as her brother came back from Hiccup's and Ruffnut's argument.

"How was it?" She asked.

"You're boyfriend was really reasonable." Her brother pointed out. Astrid blushed.

"He's not my boyfriend... On with the point. Did you trick them?"

"I'm pretty sure I did."

"Good boy. now let's go get you that treat I promised. Her little brother nodded happily and they both walked in the house.

* * *

Hiccup slammed the door shut obviously annoyed that day. Stoic then had to ask what was wrong.

"I missed my flight with Toothless all because of freakin elves..."

"Elves aren't real."

"Well according to Ruffnut, they are. She keeps saying they make rainbows and put down pots of gold. What's with that?"

"That girl has problems."

"That's exactly what I thought hours ago..."

"So why couldn't you go?"

"She wouldn't let me. Whenever I tried to walk right past her she either followed me or wouldn't let me go at all..."

"She definitely has a problem." Stoic said shaking his head in disapproval.

"Yeah well now I have to make it up to Toothless by giving him bucket fulls of fish."

"That shouldn't be too hard."

"Knowing that he never told or gestured how many, it's quite bad."

"Never mind then..."

* * *

Ruffnut ran around the house screaming that she was right and Hiccup was wrong. And that annoyed Tuffnut a whole lot.

"Shut the heck up!" Tuffnut yelled at Ruffnut.

"But I was right! Elves are real!"

"Who told you that?"

"Hiccup did out of annoyance!"

"No wonder he said they were real..." Poor Tuffnut had to deal with his hyper sister that night and the next morning he didn't even try to get out of bed. Ruffnut tried to wake him up but nothing worked.

"What is up with you today?"

"You were annoyingly hyper yesterday..."

"I was? What did you give me?"

"I gave you nothing... You took my sugar and then you got hyper."

"Whoops..."

"Yeah... You annoyed the heck out of Hiccup yesterday too."

"Now I have to go-"

"Apologize? Probably. But let's go destroy some stuff first. After I get more sleep." Tuffnut was out like a log after that and Ruffnut was stuck with worry.

What did she do the day before?


	2. Don't kill him

**No replies because every single chapter is different and I'm afraid I may not make any sense if I do reply.**

* * *

Hiccup walked into his house. He just got a borrow movie that washed up on the shore and a DVD player that isn't fractured or anything. And there was a T.V. It was all in a boat. Someone must've left it so he just decided to take it and watch the damn thing.

"Hmmm... The Ring?" He said reading the title aloud. "It's just about a damn piece of jewelry. What the hell? I thought it was a horror movie!" He yelled not noticing the picture on the disc.

"What're you yelling about?" Fishlegs asked suddenly curious of the disc he's holding.

"The freakin letter said this was a horror movie. But it's just about a peice of jewelry. Seriously! Look at it!" Fishlegs read the title and shrugged.

"You know it could probably be a horror movie. Even if the title is kinda... What's the word... Stupid."

"We'll watch it then. I'm bored and all we are able to do is either fish or fly around. I've never seen a horror movie before.." So the two walked inside the house and let the disc in the DVD player. And the movie started.

* * *

Astrid heard Fishlegs screaming in fear so it was either Hiccup became a psycho and was trying to stab him or he's reading another freaky book. Either one of those. So she walked over to the house and saw what she never thought she'd see. Hiccup sitting on the couch and watching a movie with no fear at all. She walked towards the couch and looked at their faces. Fishlegs was obviously scared and Hiccup just fell asleep.

"What is this?" She asked.

"It's a horror movie. A very very..." Hiccup yawned. "Scary movie..."

"I didn't think you'd be fearless when it comes to this stuff."

"We'll talk later... Let Fishlegs enjoy his movie." Hiccup said turning away from the screen and falling asleep again causing Astrid to laugh.

"Wow Fishlegs. You do seem pretty scared. Out of your mind."

"It's called a horror movie for a reason." He protested. Hiccup sighed and scooted away from him in attempt to survive. Fishlegs ended up picking up the body and squeezing it Hard enough to wake him up and choke.

"ASTRID HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Hiccup squeaked as he was being squeezed to death.

"Alright alright. Fishlegs put Hiccup down." She said in a comforting way. Instead he just squeezed Hiccup tighter.

"Who knew my murderer would be my best human friend?" Hiccup asked himself.

"Let go of the boy now! You're going to kill him!" Astrid yelled at Fishlegs. When he finally let go, Hiccup fell to the ground and didn't make a move. He passed out.

"Great. You killed him." Astrid muttered picking the unconscious boy up.

* * *

Stoic heard Fishlegs screaming a while ago and thought nothing of it. Until he stopped and that's what worried him. It was either Hiccup decided to stab him to shut him up or asked Toothless to burn him. One of those. **(A/N WHY DO YOU PEOPLE THINK HICCUP WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!) **

He ran home and ended up seeing his son in Astrid's arms and he was unconscious and a movie was playing.

"Who killed him?" He asked slapping his forehead.

**(A/N When they say that it means "Who made him pass out?")**

"Fishlegs." Was Astrid's only answer.

"Great... Now we have to wake him up." Stoic said bringing the hand down from his took a while but he managed to wake up Hiccup and the boy flinched when he saw Fishlegs.

"Don't come near me you freakin killer!" He yelled running away from them.

"Looks like you really scared him." Stoic said. "Which is really hard to do."

"WHAT?" Astrid and Fishlegs yelled in sync.

"He's usually never afraid. Unless it does to almost dying. You just made him pass out which is normal. What did you do?"

"He squeezed him." Astrid said glaring at Fishlegs. Well that was new.

"Well... That explains it. Time to go help him again..." Stoic muttered.

"Again?" Echoed Astrid.

"Oh yeah. He's passed out before. One of the times was because his mother gave him a toy dragon." Well that was also new.

"This is your fault you know." Astrid told Fishlegs turning off the horror movie.


End file.
